How We Decide

I left a somewhat cryptic status update on my Facebook page last week stating "Neal may or may not have run 18.5 miles, may or may not have run for 3 hours, and may or may not know how he feels about it." At the time I wrote it, on Saturday in our hotel after the run, I was exhausted from living the tale I am about to tell, and really not sure whether I was happy with my run or not. On Sunday we had brunch with our niece Sarah and her husband Jonah Lehrer, where we talked about his new book, How We Decide which is just out. A programming note, Jonah wason the Colbert Report on Comedy Central on Thursday night, February 5th. It reruns on Friday at 8:30 p.m. His interview is on his blog here, and the full show is here. Among the many things we discussed was what happens to the glucose in your brain during a long run, as good an explanation as any I have heard as to why simple decisions and math get so difficult in a marathon, if you have ever tried to calculate the pace you will need for the last 6 miles to reach your goal you understand the issue.


The topic of how we decide applies not only to your choice of Cheerios but to all decisions, including, I believe, our choice of whether we want to be positive or negative in general outlook.

So, here is the story of the long run, which I have decided that I am going to be happy with, even if that was not my initial reaction. I believe Jonah calls that thinking about thinking.


Jane and I got up at 5 a.m. in order to drive 90+ miles to the Mount Auburn Club in Watertown, which was generously hosting the Dana-Farber training run, and we got there in time for the 8:15 announcements, one of which was my being recognized for having surpassed the $10,000.00 amount in my fundraising for cancer research. Here is a picture of our fearless leader, Jan Ross, right before she called my name. My rewards were a pair of gloves and a key chain, nice enough, but certainly not any part of my decision to run for Dana-Farber.









There were several reasons I wanted to run from the Mount Auburn Club. I have run from there in previous years, and it is a wonderful club, and its Executive Director, Paul, is a great guy and great DFMC supporter. And 3 miles away is Commonwealth Avenue and a chance to run on the marathon course.



I usually love my Garmin 305 but if you own any type of GPS devise you know that they are useless without a connection with a satellite. It is somewhat funny to observe the start of any group run, with runners holding their watch arm to the sky trying to get a signal before the other runners take off. It somehow reminds me of a religious ceremony, so maybe it should be formalized, we could call it the"Gathering of the Satellites" with all of us facing the direction of Garmin headquarters, and have our own rituals like popping Advil. It is supposedly much harder to get a satellite signal if you are running. In this case, I could not get a signal, and when every other of the 80 plus Dana-Farber runners was running and quickly vanishing from my view, I decided I could not wait any more and hit the start button and took off. I have no idea where I picked up a signal, but when I got to the third water stop, I was told that most runners had 8.6 or 8.8 on their Garmins, and I was showing almost a mile less.



We pretty much climbed uphill until we reached Comm Ave and I caught up to and passed many runners. We were running with traffic on the street single file, as the sidewalks were covered in snow and ice and a sure ticket to a slip and fall injury. It was a great relief not only to get to the top of the hill, but to get to Comm Ave, which has a lightly travelled parallel local road which is safe for runners. Despite this being my third Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge, I was pretty much running by myself, except for a brief time when I talked with two runners running their first Boston. They did not know about the existence of the Johnny Kelley statute, so we stopped and they took my picture in front of it. Well sort of anyway, I did not dare get any closer to it given all the snow on the ground. And take a look at the snow on the sidewalk so you can agree that it was not safe to run on.




The picture immediately above was taken as I approached the second water stop, and is meant to show you just how much stupid snow we have had this winter, aided by the snow plows, and to praise the volunteers who come out to help the runners, no matter what the weather. I volunteer at least once a winter in years I am not running. In the group of volunteers in the picture are parents of one of my DFMC teammates, they drive about an hour each way each weekend to volunteer. Dana-Farber just brings out the best in people and brings out the best people.

The majority of the DFMC runners were doing 14 or so miles, which meant they did not have to make the turn at the Firehouse at the corner of Route 16. Of the few runners going further, I was the slowest, and I was the only one who wanted to go 20 miles instead of their 17. Running on Route 16, a four lane major road, with no sidewalks because of the snow and ice, was a major energy drain, as my concern was not getting killed rather than my running. Still, I felt ok going up Grossman's Hill to Wellesley, and the third and last water stop. The volunteers had been waiting for me for 15 minutes since the next to last runner had come through, so I changed my plan to run another 1.5 miles into Wellesley, and turned around and headed back, being the last runner at the final two waterstops. It was again harrowing until I got back to the safety of the side road on Comm Ave. I was tired and somewhat slower from the hills, but did not feel really tired and slow until I did the final rise of Heartbreak Hill. Until that point, I really did feel good about the run, despite the guilt of being the last one and keeping the volunteers waiting.

After turning off Comm Ave, I had to retrace my route to the start, and it was mostly downhill. Unlike the start, this time I was alone in traffic. I knew I had to cross some major roads on a bridge and had to turn on a street to get to the bridge, and because my sense of direction sometimes betrays me, all of a sudden I knew I had made the wrong turn. To make it worse, my only safe option was to walk on an icy sidewalk. I asked someone for help, but she was probably the only one in the area who did not know where the Watertown Mall was (not far from the club). I did have my cell phone with me, but did not want to resort to calling and admitting I was lost, so I turned to my Garmin, and for the first time used the feature that can direct you back to your starting point. My instincts were telling me to turn and run east. So much for my instincts, Garmin told me to go west. I had somehow gone over the wrong bridge. Now the problem was that Garmin had me going on a major highway, with impassable sidewalks. More nervous energy expended, but it turned out Garmin was correct, and I was able to get back to the club. I could see other DFMC runners leaving, some after stretching, eating, showering, maybe even updating their blogs for all I could imagine. And I knew Jane was inside waiting with the DFMC volunteers. So I did run up and down the street, but after seeing 17.5 on my Garmin and figuring it was 18.5, I decided that despite my blog promise of getting to 20, that you would all understand my decision to not keep everyone waiting and call it a day.

The last part of the run I felt sore and slow, and another 1.5 would not have made me feel I accomplished a lot. On the other had, under these conditions, to still show that I probably did 18.5 miles in about 3:05, even with the slow walks over icy sidewalks, is something to be postive about. And I am reminding mysef that I still have four more 20 milers scheduled, and that, all things considered, I did well enough on the hills to give me hope, and struggled enough to keep me working hard on hills without being discouraged.

My final decision is to listen to everyone who has suggested that I need to be more concise in a lot of areas, from answering the simple question "How are you?" or "How was your run?" to this blog, so I am going to publish now, rather than try to make it perfect or to tell you more about my week than you are really interested enough to read.

The final decision is yours. The question is whether you will support me in my run and make a donation for cancer research at Dana-Farber.

Thank you.